Tuesday, June 30, 2009

We are only promised this here and now.

Last night my other half got his feelings hurt by my curt response to a question he asked. I did not even realize that I had said it and no intention of being curt. I have noticed that about myself, as life goes on. I seem to say things without thought and sometimes am surprised on what I say. But I am finding it is really what was on my mind and sometimes in my heart. I just have an easier time saying it now. No buffers. Ummmmm... I kind of like it. Don't get me wrong, I don't like hurting peoples feelings, but now I am finally saying what I feel, instead of making everything nice and rosy. So now I just need to tone it down a bit, or not. But where does this come from and why now? Why not before? I think about that I wonder, alot of things would have been different for me if I did not care so much, or if I was a little more curt sometimes or if I had the mind set to say what was really on my mind. But now, for whatever reason, I am able to do so.. I have no what if's on my mind, no ache in my heart, or could of would of, should of thoughts.
Maybe peri-menopause or "The Pause" symptoms comes at the wrong time in life. If this would have happened to me earlier....who knows what route my life would have taken.
But I am here at this crossroad, I really like this journey... don't understand it... but I guess that is the fun of it. But this I have learned...Do not wait to speak what is on your mind or in your heart. So if I haven't told you lately I appreciate you, I do. I care what you think, I honor our friendship and cherish my family. We are only promised this here and now....

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